


remembrance

by intothedeep27



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Drama, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Healing, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27435010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intothedeep27/pseuds/intothedeep27
Summary: "Please," Ben pleaded to the stars, but his whispers reached no ears but his own, the echoing of his cries the only witness to his pain. But they were a dyad in the Force, the power of life itself, so one was never meant to live without the other. A TROS fix-it story.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is pretty much finished, I'm doing edits and whatnot. Hopefully, this won't be a long story as what I have finished is fairly short, but who really knows. Whatever I have planned might pull a reverse uno card on me and change up the entirety of the story. We'll see. As of now, though, I'm going to try to update every Saturday/Sunday. I'm hoping that this story can help me start writing again because let's just say, the writer block I'm currently going through has been lasting for like, six months, which is six months too long if you ask me, and with covid and uni, I am straight up not having a good time.

**“No later light has lightened up my heaven,** **  
****No second morn has ever shone for me;** **  
****All my life's bliss from thy dear life was given,** **  
****All my life's bliss is in the grave with thee.”**

 _Remembrance,_ Emily Brontë

Rey could feel the stars above, the Force of the thousands of Jedi’s that lived before her lifting her to the unknown, as she used the last of her life to destroy the vile creature that had inflicted pain upon the galaxy throughout generations. Opening her eyes, she saw the fear growing in Palpatine’s eyes as the sabers in her hands hummed with power; never had she felt more alive than at that moment. His screaming rang in her ears as his own power betrayed him, lightning flying all around them. 

And with one last push, with one last stand, the Sith’s tyrannical reign was no more.

His body fell before her in a smoking heap as she herself felt the power she held within flicker until it suddenly rushed out of her in a way that left her gasping for air. She staggered a few steps back from the force of it, the clattering of lightsabers falling from her hands echoing across the collapsing chamber. There was a ringing in her ears as her vision began blurring, her body feeling weak – weaker than she had ever felt before in her life – as she fell to one knee. Whatever strength she possessed mere moments ago was nonexistent as her body started to fail, the Force no longer aiding her.

 _It’s time_ , she tearfully thought, her legs and arms growing numb.

Rey knew that if she tried to hold on, that there may have been a slight chance for her to recover from this battle, to continue her journey, but as soon as the thought appeared, she dismissed it; this time, she knew that it was over. There was just...no more fight left in her _to_ continue. Her friends were safe, the Resistance lived, the Sith were dead. Whatever connection she had with Ben was severed – _empty_ – the Force no longer responding to it, leading her to believe that the fall had killed her other half. With Ben gone and her role in the Galaxy fulfilled, a heavy coldness grew in her chest that she knew belonged to death. Death was an unwelcome friend of hers, following her every step as it haunted even her dreams.

Today, she would not welcome its embrace with open arms like she once believed she would; but she understood that what she had done here, that her final stand was a choice with dire consequences that no other would have survived as well. So she would go not angry but...sad. Perhaps with more time and strength, she _could_ have saved Ben earlier. Maybe she could have even told him things she always wanted to, but never could because of the war that waged between them.

So with one last look at the crumbling Sith throne, she fell to her other knee, only to collapse forward onto the cold stone, no longer possessing any strength to catch herself; and as she took her final breath, her last thoughts were of the man who came to save her, of the man that would forever have a hold on her like no other, a bond that transcended even the power of the Force. Palpatine had been wrong. She did have a family; she wasn’t alone. 

And so Rey fell as Ben rose.

As her spirit passed into the Force, Ben climbed like he never did before. He felt the very moment she died and it nearly cost him his own life – he lost his grip on the rocks from the pit he had been thrown into, a sudden emptiness that wasn’t there before flooded his mind and soul. It was inhumane the way this loneliness felt, and instinctively he knew that this darkness meant that Rey was...gone – but it couldn’t have been _real_ – _no_ , he thought as he pushed himself up, _she couldn’t be dead_.

Finally, what had felt like hours but only mere minutes, a hand shot up from the hole. He heaved himself onto the stone, crawling out from the depths of Exegol. There was no break for him as he staggered forward, his attention going straight to the unmoving body amongst the rubble, unable to turn his eyes away. Pain laced his every step as he dragged his broken leg, and he fell more than once, barely catching himself, but nothing mattered to him more than being at her side.

Unbeknownst to him, though, his very existence kept her tethered to life through their bond. So with every step he took, with every fall to the ground, he reached for her, for _Rey_. He called to the stars, to any who would listen for the woman he loved because she _couldn’t_ leave him, not when there was so much he wanted – no, _needed_ – to say, because she was the only person who had and ever would understand who he was. _Why_ he was.

The sheer exhaustion that racked his body and the pain from his leg was no comparison to the pain he felt now, the emptiness of the Force bond breaking his very soul. This emptiness; he had never experienced anything like it before and to know that life without Rey was this? It was a torturous loneliness like no other.

When Ben finally reached her moments later, he fell to the ground as the only thing going through his mind was _her_. He checked for a pulse, for _anything_ , but the eyes that once looked at him with light, with anger, with deeper emotions that he had wanted to explore more of with her were nonexistent. Instead, the spark of life in her eyes that had drawn him in and brought him _back to life_ , from the brink of complete and utter self-destruction, was replaced with a cold and blank lifeless stare that nearly stopped his own heart.

Ben felt a sob grow in his chest but held it back as he maneuvered Rey’s body into his lap, gently holding her. He threw his head around, hoping – _praying_ – that there would be someone that could help them. Holding her against his chest, where there should have been a heartbeat against his own, there was none, only an unmoving chest with no sign of life whatsoever.

 _Please_ , he pleaded to the stars, but his whispers reached no ears but his own, the echoing of his cries the only witness to his pain.

Ben looked down, back into her death glazed eyes, as the realization of what he knew he needed to do settled heavily into his chest. For her, he would do anything – just as he had promised her months ago, he would give her the universe if she had taken his hand. And...and today, she did, as they fought Palpatine together. For the only woman who would ever have his heart, he would gladly give his own to save her.

He allowed himself a second of selfishness with the tight embrace he gave her, rocking her in his arms, as he begged for her to forgive him for the decision he was about to make. Then pulling back, he sat up straight and closed his eyes, placing a hand on her stomach while reaching for the Force within – he was already so drained from this fight, and he knew that to bring her back, he would have to give everything. He forced himself to _feel_ in a way he hadn’t in so long, to reach out to the Force and the Light to heal, to call out to Rey’s spirit to bring her back to him.

They were a dyad in the Force, the power of life itself. One was never meant to live without the other, and with all the power Ben held, he unknowingly restored a balance to the Force that hadn’t been seen in millenniums.

He was aware of the very moment Rey came back before she even took her first breath – the bond that had fallen silent between them came alive, flourishing under the power that once connected him to her. With a jolt of life and a gasp of air, she painfully grabbed his hand, centering her back to life. 

At this, Ben’s eyes flew open, melting into the warm brown eyes that greeted him. She looked at him with confusion at first, but it quickly went away as she smiled, gazing at him in a way that made his slowing heart beat a little stronger, helping him stay a little longer to be with her. 

Rey slowly pulled herself up in his lap, bringing her closer to him, when he came to the realization that what he felt for her wasn’t just love; it was something so much more, so much _deeper_. With her, he felt whole, his soul no longer at war with itself. 

With her, he felt true unadulterated _happiness_.

“ _Ben_.”

His name on her lips, the light in her eyes – _if only he had more time_.

Rey gently placed a hand against his face, staring deeply into his soul, before closing the distance between them with a kiss. It wasn’t thought out, she hadn’t planned on doing it, but some part of her yearned for the connection that only she could have with him. She kissed him _hard_ , never wanting to let go. Seconds ticked by before they did break apart, as they looked at each other with an intensity like no other, she continued to tenderly touch the side of his face because she wanted to just _feel_ him because she thought he had been dead and– 

She just...never believed she would be where she was now, with him.

Ben looked back at her, cradling her face, as he felt more alive than ever. Here, with her in his arms...there were no words to describe how he felt. It was love, happiness, contentment; it was just pure _joy_ knowing that she chose to be with him, even if he could not stay. But his body felt weak, his spirit faint, signaling to him that his time was up. There was so much he had wanted to say but did not have the time to.

So instead, he opted for a smile, his first in such a long time, and hoped that it conveyed all of which he wished he could have said. Because Ben started falling, and Rey began screaming.

Rey could only watch as one second, he was with her here, smiling, warm and strong and _alive_ , and the next, his eyes fluttering as he fell backward, a numbing echo replacing the life in their bond. She could only scream his name as she tried to catch him, but she had no strength in her to carry his weight. She softened their impact to the ground as much as possible and proceeded to grab his shoulders when she saw the edges of his body begin to flicker. And the moment she felt his spirit beginning to slip away into the Force was when her mind went blank.

Rey didn’t know what she did nor how, but with all the power within her and the voices of the Force, she _pulled_. She pulled and pulled and _pulled_ on that tether that connected them to each other, keeping the man she loved here with her in her arms. They were a bond – a _dyad_ bond, stronger than life – and without one, there could be no other. She screamed and cried, she felt the ghosts of the past all around her: they were spirits of the familiar and unfamiliar surrounding her.

Rey turned to them and begged.

Out of anyone, he deserved redemption for his past actions. Here, today, the decisions he made alone proved that he was not what everyone had believed him to be. _She_ _had been right_. Ben deserved a future, a life beyond the prison that the darkness had shackled him to.

The spirits saw...and they listened. Out of the many gifts they had given today, they had one last one to give. 

_Life_.

Life for the man who had brought Rey back from the dead at the cost of his own, and life for the two people who deserved nothing less than a happy future with one another.

They poured power into her and Rey let herself be a conduit as the Force flowed through her and into Ben. Seconds passed when she felt the surge of the power dwindle, and like earlier, it suddenly rushed out of her, leaving her to gasp for air. Then, a sudden wave of weakness slammed down onto her with no warning, leaving her with no choice but to fall onto Ben’s unmoving body, still devoid of life.

Did she fail? Was it not enough? 

_Was he truly gone?_

She remained where she was on his chest, weakly cradling his face in her hands as she felt herself begin to fall under the darkness of unconsciousness, tears streaming down her face. Her body screamed in agony, from both the mental and physical strain that was placed upon her today, but she found that she didn’t have it in her to care. Without him, a part of her would always be missing.

Unconsciousness called to Rey and she unwillingly felt herself fall under its spell, feeling a sudden strong heartbeat from beneath her as two dark, familiar brown eyes met her own, her name ringing in her ears, as everything went dark around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and kudos behind for a starving author as I'd love to know what you guys are thinking. Stay safe guys!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is kind of short, but to make up for it I'll post chapter three sometime during the week, alongside the weekend upload :) I hope you like it! It was kind of difficult to try and write in Ben's voice and so hopefully his POV is somewhat realistic to how he's portrayed and not too OOC.

In death, Ben saw ghosts.

He remembered a vast emptiness surrounded by pathways and darkness as stars that sparkled in the distance all around. There was a tether within him that he subconsciously knew was Rey, and when it tugged on him, he followed down that path it led until he was brought to something akin to a mirror; but no reflection stared back at him. Instead, Rey was reflected back at him, and he could only watch her as she held his body in her arms, shaking, their roles now reversed. He was unable to hear what she was saying but by her body language alone, he felt his soul shattering from where he stood, so close yet so far.

He placed a hand against the mirror, an eerie cold seeping into his palm.

Ben had understood that his decision was not an easy one for them both. Yet, he had done it for her, because she was the one who deserved to continue living, to travel and do the things she loved, and to just... _live_. He did what he did not to make up for the pain he had inflicted upon the galaxy but because that was the only right thing he could do in his last moments. So when he saw Rey crying over his dead body, he had to turn away, unable to watch any further.

“You must watch _._ ”

Whirling around at the sudden voice, his eyes widened. He recognized the man standing behind him from pictures and the stories that he heard as a child. A blue aura surrounded the Jedi’s ghost as a small part of Ben cowered at the sight of his namesake.

“...Obi-wan Kenobi?”

With a hand on his shoulder, the former Jedi turned him back to the mirror. “Watch.”

Brows furrowing, Ben did as he was told and turned back around. Rey was now kneeling over his body, throwing her head side to side, her mouth moving as she seemed to be speaking. One by one, unfamiliar blue ghosts began forming around them – _Obi-wan included_ – until one last body kneeled by his head, a familiar face amongst the unknown.

It was his grandfather, Anakin Skywalker.

Rey placed a hand upon Ben’s forehead, where Anakin had placed his own hand. The room then lit up with no warning in bright light, so bright that even Ben had to shield his eyes. When he turned back, expecting Rey to have shielded herself from the brightness, he saw no reaction from her. Instead, the ghosts all bowed their heads as one by one, they blinked out of existence until only three remained; his mother, grandfather, and uncle. Anakin stood up, his body fading by the second, and gave one last smile to Luke and Leia before disappearing. The two remained a little longer before fading away as well.

“What–”

“It was not your time yet. You two are a bond, a soul of one, a balance; you were never meant to live without the other. You have made mistakes but we all have; no one is perfect. Here you have a chance to redeem yourself, to prove yourself not only to your past but to your future. "Obi-wan took a step back before saying, “. _.._ Be better. Be worthy of my name, Ben Solo.” 

The last thing he remembered was the former Jedi’s firm gaze before the tether within yanked, bringing him back to life. And then Ben awoke in his body, eyes shooting open to the grey stone ceilings. There was a weight on his chest and a hand on his face – he only had a second to process everything before he felt Rey’s hand slipping. He hurriedly called out her name but her eyes fluttered shut without a response. Instead, he caught her hand and gripped it tightly, but was comforted by the warmth she radiated and the pulsing strength of their bond. Calming himself down, he slowly pulled himself up, ignoring the burn of pain in his body. Although he struggled to do even this simple task, he refused to let it prevent him from trying to ensure that Rey was okay.

He silently went through the motions of checking for injuries as his eyes strayed to her face. Tear stains marked her cheeks, the dust and grit from the fight settling on her. His hand hovered over her cheek as the realization of the consequences from today’s fight began to truly into his chest.

Ben knew he could not go back with her, not to the Resistance. Too much death and anger were between him and the organization his mother helmed, and there would be no forgiveness for his actions; he did not seek it as well. He was not looking for his past transgressions to be pushed aside and he hoped that Rey understood that. What he did today, here with her, was not a decision he made in hopes to be forgiven, He did it because he could have never lived without her, without _Rey_. Quite frankly, the Resistance be damned – if anyone deserved to be alive after today, he could only think of one person.

He made a fist before pulling away, a heavy sigh leaving his mouth, but a sudden movement in his lap made him freeze. 

“Ben?” Before he could respond, Rey fully awoke and jumped onto him, tackling them both to the ground as her arms wrapping around him. His hands instinctively held her as he felt her tears on his neck, her shoulders shaking. “ _You’re alive_ ,” Rey muttered over and over again, a relief that he understood in her voice. He still had no response when she pulled back, a blinding smile greeting him. 

She continued to touch his face, his hair, his neck, his shoulder – she had to reassure herself that he was really here, that he wasn’t going to fade away like he almost had earlier. Her fingers grazed his cheeks when his eyes softened, recognizing what she was doing.

Steeling himself, Ben lifted a shaky have over her cheek once more as she paused in her movements. Earlier, when they both had been fueled with adrenaline from the fight, and in that moment they had allowed their instincts to take over and to succumb to the tension that had been building within them for over a year. Now, with their bodies tired and but mind clearer, he could not help but think that he would be no good for her– 

But Rey, seeing the conflict that tore within him, answered Ben’s silent question by moving slightly closer. She placed the side of her face into his palm, a smaller but warmer smile on her face as her eyes shined with something indescribable. At this, Ben felt a tear escape, slowly streaming down his face, as he watched her pull his hand into her own before kissing his palm.

She understood him and stayed.

Like the final piece of a puzzle, Rey’s love broke something within him. One tear fell after another as a quiet sob left his mouth. The hold that the months and years of terror, manipulation, and incomprehensible anger that burned within him finally disappeared as he finally allowed himself to _breathe_. 

Rey brought their heads together, holding him as he opened his heart out to her with his tears, and she kept him centered by never letting go.

0O0

They leaned on each other as the two limped out of the Sith Temple.

“I can’t go with you,” Ben announced as they reached their individual ships. “You know why.”

He expected resistance from her but the sudden anger that erupted on her face surprised even him. “No! I can tell them what you did here–” Her mouth continued moving but he heard nothing but the beating of his heart as he felt himself falling deeper and deeper into the unknown, the love he felt for her continuing to surprise even him. Even here, in the ruins and chaos of the Sith temple, she vowed to fight for him to her fellow comrades despite all he had done to them.

“ _Rey_.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, cutting her off mid-sentence and forcing her to look at him. “I have spilled...too much blood to ask for forgiveness from the Resistance. If I go with you, we both know what’ll happen.”

Rey remained stubborn and tried to think of arguments, but Ben unexpectedly pulled her into one last hug, her arms trapped at her sides. She paused before her forehead fell against his shoulder, her resolve to convince him crumbling. “...I’d fight for you,” she whispered weakly. 

His arms tightened around her, his voice rumbling in his chest. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

In time, they pulled apart and Ben helped her to Luke’s old x-wing. “What should I say?” she asked, settling into the starfighter. “When they ask?”

The entire time they were leaving the temple, he had pondered over this. What could Rey say to everyone that would be enough, that would allow them to truly understand what had occurred here? He remained silent for a few seconds as he saw his reflection in Rey’s eyes before it clicked for him. He knew exactly what to say because standing here, before Rey, he felt _himself_ for the first time in a very _very_ long time. “Tell them that...Kylo Ren is dead.” For a moment, she seemed taken aback, but the shock quickly melted into something he saw akin to relief, to joy and happiness at his decision. She was practically _radiant_ in the dark and gloomy planet, a beacon of light and hope, beckoning him to her, and it was then he knew the decision he made to have been the right one. “And Rey?”

"Yes?"

“I’ll find you.”

_Forever and always._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and kudos behind for a starving author as I'd love to know what you guys are thinking. Stay safe guys!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter! It's a lot longer, as promised. I always thought that what Rey went through would have been traumatic to anyone, no matter how strong they were, and so this chapter is an exploration into Rey's psyche (to the best of my ability) and how she might have reacted to the events that transpired at the end of TROS, with an obvious spin on Ben now being alive. I never did really think it was too realistic to have Ben go with her to the Resistance and have them let him go, as I've seen with some other stories, due to the fact that Ben did do horrible things in the name of the First Order. He definitely would have been captured immediately. Anyway, the next chapter is an exciting one that I'm really excited for you guys to read this weekend so stay tuned! Also, it's not graphic whatsoever, but maybe a slight TW for a panic attack towards the end.

When Rey landed on the Resistance Base, a weight lifted off her shoulders as she saw her friends. Their happiness at the fact that the long _long_ war was over, that they were all still alive – the sensation of being able to breathe without worrying about the First Order finding them was a relief like no other. 

But the moment she saw Finn and the smile on his face, Rey felt guilt replace that said weight. How was she going to break it to him, or to _everyone,_ that Ben was still alive? They wouldn’t see two separate people; to them, Kylo Ren and Ben Solo were the same beings. To them, Ben being alive resulted only in the fear that he would come back and ruin the freedom that they just gained, to oppress them once more.

“Rey!”

For now, she would keep her mouth shut, because the sudden warmth that rushed over her gave her the strength to continue standing without caving under the guilt. Her secret would remain with her only until she knew that everyone was ready, no matter how long it took. So instead, she ran to her friends and allowed herself to be enveloped in the happiness that being with them brought her. They were celebrating; there was no need for her to ruin this moment for them all.

Days passed and in time, Rey began to pack. She ate, celebrated, slept, repeat; she was as well-rested as she could be at this point. A part of her knew that she needed to leave, there was just...so much more she that she felt that she needed to do. Whether that was to help aid Ben his journey away from the dark or to continue her own Jedi journey into places unknown, all that she did know was that her place was not here, amongst her friends as she once had hoped. It was a gut feeling, a continuous pull in another direction that she knew would guide her to where she needed to be.

“What are you doing?” Yelping in surprise at the sudden voice, she whirled around and saw Finn, Poe trailing behind him. He was looking not at her but the bag in her hands with confusion. “...You’re leaving already?”

Rey felt a pang in her heart at the slight anger that flooded his voice. “Yes. I’m sorry but I don’t know how to explain it, but my place isn’t here anymore, Finn.”

There was a pause, an awkward second of silence as Poe finally caught up to them. “...It’s him, isn’t it?” Finn suddenly declared, looking up. Poe looked at them with confusion, only hearing the tail end of the question.

Heart skipping a beat, Rey instinctually feigned ignorance. “What are you talking about?” She kept a calm exterior but inside, she panicked. How? Why? Better yet: how could she explain _Ben Solo_ without angering them all? Without sacrificing Ben?

“Kylo Ren.” The moment his name fell from Finn’s lips, the air between the three friends grew tense with a nauseating mixture of confusion, anger, and betrayal – all of which radiated from the two men. Rey opened her mouth, ready to explain the entire situation away without making it worse when he interrupted with his intense pacing, something she always saw him do when he was taut with anger. “Remember on Pasaana, when we fell into the quicksand? Do you remember how I wanted to tell you something?”

As she slowly nodded, Poe narrowed his eyes at Finn and held up a hand. “Wait, is this about that damned secret? The one you still refuse to tell me even now?” he interjected, trying in his own way to diffuse the tension with another question. 

But Finn ignored him and looked at her instead, his face unreadable. “I’m Force-sensitive.” 

At these words, Rey forced her face into a blank mask that she was getting eerily better at controlling. There was only a single thought in her head at his sudden declaration: she was not surprised. She had sensed that he was more in tune with the Force than he had let on to everyone, and why he kept this hidden from her was more the surprise than anything.

“Nothing? You’re not even shocked?”

“I…” With a heavy sigh, she too began to pace, albeit with smaller steps and less frantically. For a split second, Rey _had_ thought that she should act surprise, as it seemed that _that_ was the response that he sought, but she knew better – she knew _Finn._ He was her best friend, someone who she confided in and vice versa. To keep her true feelings only to herself would only be a disservice to them all, especially after what they all went through together. So, steeling herself, she responded in the only way she knew how – by telling the truth. “Finn, I _knew_ – how could I not? You’re my best friend and...and I sensed the Force’s presence around you–”

Interrupting with a sound of frustration, he stormed up to her and placed both of his hands on her shoulders, holding her firmly in place. “That’s not the point I’m trying to make! I’m – fine, whatever, you knew. Okay, that conversation is done–”

“No, it’s not,” Poe growled.

“ _Fine_ , it’s tabled for now,” he muttered and threw his head back. There was some unspoken conversation that lasted a few seconds between the two men before there was a grunt of acceptance from Poe, and despite her current predicament, Rey felt a sliver of amusement at the way they interacted. However, when Finn turned back around, she felt her heart drop. “But Force sensitivity issue aside, your refusal to deny Kylo’s death means that I’m right.” Not a question – a statement. “He’s alive.”

Once again, Rey’s immediate thought went to denying it, but Poe looked at her from behind Finn, and underlying the confusion in his eyes too were hints of betrayal, and she knew that hiding this information would only backfire horribly in her face. Already, she was experiencing the repercussions of hiding what truly occurred from her friends.

“Yes.” With a heavy heart, she said, “Ben Solo is alive.”

At once, Finn staggered back like he had been struck as Poe caught him, keeping him steady.

She had expected screaming, yelling, fighting, a _literal_ explosion of fire and chaos in the room they stood in, but she was taken aback by the stillness in the air that originated from them instead. No response, just silence.

Unlike the usual Poe she was used to, with the emotional responses he typically gave, instead he had an unreadable look on his face as he quietly asked how. She nodded and took a deep breath, going back to the memory of her fight with Palpatine. 

But the unexpected happened. As Rey began to remember, her heart began to beat harder and faster in her chest as the air in her lungs suddenly disappeared. She felt herself beginning to hyperventilate, unable to take in the air she needed. It was as if all the blood in her body was replaced with ice, her mind going straight to her...her _death_. Anxiety flooded her system and she was unable to dive back out of the flashback. She began drowning in the terror of what had truly occurred, of the torturous pain that her so-called grandfather forced her to go through.

For a split-second, she wasn’t on Ajan Kloss, where the Resistance was based out of, and she wasn’t with her friends in her small cramped room; no, she was on Exegol, thinking Ben had died and the voices of the Force in her head as Palpatine’s lightning burned through her and– 

“I died,” she forcefully whispered, her voice cracking. She gulped, trying to rid her throat of the sudden dry spell, but instead, it only intensified the feeling of her stomach rocking with the contents of her breakfast. She had to turn down away from them, unable to look at her friends. “Palpatine had...somehow drained the bond I have with Ben for himself, he had said that it was like the power of life itself. I remember...falling and for one second, Ben was there, next to me on the ground – and we were still together, even though we weren’t? But then Palpatine flung him into a crater and I thought he had died.” Rey had to take a second to rearrange her thoughts, to ground herself back to the present, which was oh so very hard. She was barely there with Poe and Finn – most of her was stuck in a loop of the events that she was reliving. “So I woke up. Stood up against Palpatine. And then I–”

Before she could continue, footsteps forced her to look up. While Finn was still standing away from her, he was still closer than earlier as Poe placed a gentle hand against her arm. The warmth that he radiated towards Rey, despite knowing that she had been unable to do the one thing that the Resistance thought that she _could_ do, made tears form at the corner of her eyes. It gave her a little more strength to finish speaking. 

“I channeled the Force into me. All that I could hold and even more – I allowed myself to be a conduit for the Light and I remember so many voices in my head that weren’t mine, their echoes...I heard Master Skywalker – I even heard General Leia, Poe! I _heard_ her. So I...defeated Palpatine, but I had no fight in me; I was so _tired_ and I was in so much pain. I just...I couldn’t go on, you know? You guys were safe, the Resistance had won, but I was done. So then...then I died.” 

Her voice cracked again and her body felt like lead. At this point, tears were freely streaming down her cheeks, the terror of that night now truly dawning on her. She had disassociated herself from that terrorizing event, pushing it to the furthest corners of her mind. It had occurred only a little over a week ago, but this entire time, she had been avoiding the topic with herself. Forcing herself to forget the nightmares – to simply forget, in general. She hadn’t truly digested that she had died – she had been _dead_.

“And the next thing I knew, I was with Ben and he had brought me back to life by sacrificing his own,” she said with a sad finality, her voice barely even a whisper.

“I...I didn’t know. Hell, none of us knew that Rey – why didn’t you tell us?”

Sniffling, she forced herself to talk over the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry about saying nothing about Ben–”

Finn suddenly pushed Poe aside and enveloped Rey into a hug. “You know what, yeah, you should’ve said something about Ben but Poe wasn’t talking about that!” Tightening his arms, he said, “You shouldn’t have to deal with your own death alone, Rey.” 

His words echoed in her ears and when she looked at Poe from over Finn’s shoulder, there was now a different look in his eyes. Replacing the betrayal was something different. They were filled with such a heavy sadness that, when he went to join the hug, Rey began sobbing into her best friends’ arms, a broken girl.

Everything wasn’t really okay, but for now, it would be alright. 

Once the emotions in the room simmered down to a more reasonable level, the trio spoke with one another. They said the things they truly felt, the fears that they were forced to face in their final battle against the Final Order. And once they could start smiling and laughing at the stupid jokes that Poe liked to make, that was when they knew that they were okay. Yes, Rey’s secret had been a sharp blow to their friendship, but it wasn’t enough to destroy the camaraderie that had bonded them together.

As much as Finn wanted to chase after Kylo Ren, he couldn’t deny that the former First Order Leader _had_ saved the galaxy alongside Rey. So he agreed to keep Ben’s existence a secret amongst only the three of them under _one_ condition: to aid the Resistance.

“How the hell do you expect him to help us? His face is known by everyone in the Galaxy, despite that dumbass mask of his _and_ not to mention, there are only _two_ Force users in the Galaxy that can fight and uh, it’s Rey and Kylo,” Poe argued, a hand on Finn’s shoulder. 

“Well, he did keep his mask on so he’s not _that_ well known–” The look Poe gave Rey quickly shut her up as she realized that it wasn’t really the point of what he was trying to convey.

“The First Order – or Final Order, whatever the hell you want to call them – may have fallen, but there are still survivors. I know that they’ll try to maintain as much control and power as they can. They won’t have the strength that they did a week ago, but they’ll still become a threat if we don’t stamp it down now.” Finn looked at a small map of a system that happened to be in Rey’s room. “There are hidden bases all across the galaxy that we might not know about, hiding Stormtroopers with weapons that can still terrorize us.”

“But how do you expect Ben to help?” Rey threw in, her brows furrowed in thought. “He told me that he left most of the plans and whatnot with the generals; there may be a chance that he might not have _that_ much information that’ll help us anymore.” Especially with most of the First Order dead, many of the higher command people had died when Finn blew up one of the main star destroyers.

“He _has_ to know something – anything, really.”

Poe stayed silent for a few seconds. “Finn’s right, we can’t in good conscience leave him free without some sort of aid in exchange. I’m sorry Rey, I know that you say he’s changed but we haven’t seen him or spoke to him, and what he’s done to us for _years_ will take twice as long and even more to forget,” he explained.

And she understood. Before she could form a response, the air around her blurred, her friends melting into the background as she felt and then saw Ben suddenly standing before her.

“Rey.”

“...Ben,” she breathed out with a smile, something akin to relief flooding her system.

She hurriedly explained what had happened, throwing in an apology that she couldn’t keep him hidden a little longer. But unlike the frustration she had expected, there was a strange aura of calm that he radiated. 

“I’ll agree. I’ll help the Resistance crush any First Order insurgents that survived the battle, to tell you of the locations of top-secret bunkers that might contain some of the council members that might have survived. It’s a start to try and repair the terror I imposed upon everyone.” With a sad smile, he said, “It’s the least I can do.” _For you_.

Rey’s hand slowly went up towards his face as she took him in; he looked pale and dirty, hair unkempt, but there was a brightness to his eyes that had been nonexistent a mere week ago, and she felt inexplicable relief at what she saw. So, repeating what she had done in the Sith temple, Ben gently placed his face into her palm with a smile, his hand covering her own.

“Okay.” They both closed their eyes, the bond beating in a balance that spoke to them what words could not. And as it melted away and reality shifted back, Rey felt the same words leave her mouth again. 

“ _O_ _kay_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and kudos behind for a starving author as I'd love to know what you guys are thinking. Stay safe guys!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had always wondered what happened to that certain boy from TLJ, and with this story, I decided to merge certain parts of it with TROS. It was always clear that Disney never planned the three stories from the beginning, which is so blatantly obvious because of the plot holes, but whatever. I'm fixing what they won't, smh. But I really am proud of this chapter, because this is where the actual story starts to pick up. There are two major plots that I want to explore so hopefully, you guys enjoy what I have planned.

Days later, Rey found herself in the Millenium Falcon, BB-8 by her side as she began to start up the old starship. Poe had offered the droid as a partner, an idea that the little robot had actually brought up to him, and she gladly agreed to the extra companionship. She loved the little guy and having him with her made her feel a little better about the journey she was about to undertake. 

She inserted the jump coordinates that Ben had given her and waited for the ship to calculate the time it would take. As the computer did its thing, she turned to her friend with a smile. 

“Thank you for coming with me,” she said, placing a hand on the droid. He beeped in response and after a few more seconds, the ship was ready. Taking one last look at the planet that had housed her for the past year, she initiated the hyperdrive that sped her away into the unknown. 

Half an hour later, the Millenium Falcon and its two-member crew found themselves on the snow-covered planet of Vandor, a frown forming on Rey’s face. 

“I hate the snow,” she declared as she began rummaging throughout all the closets on the ship, hunting for a snowsuit capable of keeping her warm in the harsh cold. She found one minutes later and shouted out in glee, inciting a surprise beep from BB-8. “Of course I dislike the cold! I’ve lived my entire life on Jakku.” As she zipped up the parka and shoved her foot into a snow boot, she continued, “I’m just not used to it, that’s all.” Then with a grunt of struggle, she muttered to herself, “I should’ve put the boots on before the parka.”

BB-8 only beeped one word and yelped in his own, droid way when a boot came flying towards him.

After the fiasco of finding clothes capable of withstanding the harsh cold temperatures, Rey stood by the entrance of the Falcon, staring down at the snow. She recalled the first true fight she had with Ben on Starkiller Base, remembering the annoyance of the snow falling into her eyes. 

“Shall we?” she asked BB-8. Steeling herself, she stepped down and started her trek to find Ben, but sensing something odd, Rey couldn’t help but have her weapons at standby. Ben had said that he’d try to meet her at where she landed just outside of Fort Ypso, but only the harsh brisk wind greeted her instead. Strands of hair that escaped from her bun whipped all around her and judging by the dark storm cloud on the horizon, she knew that a storm was coming.

“BB-8, it would be a better idea for you to stay here after all, don’t you think?” she suggested after thinking about it for a few minutes. He protested in response but ultimately, they both knew she was right and he stood down, agreeing to wait for her on the ship. She promised to be back soon, but a part of her couldn’t help but doubt those words.

Rey began her climb down the mountain, allowing her mind to lead her to where she felt was right, and about an hour into her search, she found herself standing in front of a small, abandoned shack, the sky above growing darker and darker by the minute. Frowning underneath her hood, she opened the door and cursed. 

It was empty.

Yet, as she ventured deeper, the unlit room getting somehow _colder_ the further she went, the more worried she became due to the smell of smoke and the sharp scent of ozone that belonged only to a lightsaber. Not to mention, looking down she saw that there was semi-frozen blood she had stepped on as she walked through the dingy room. 

Luckily, she quickly found the culprit of the smell in the corner: a crossguard lightsaber, rocking alongside the broken shack. The wind rushed all around her through the dozens of missing planks on the walls and floors, but all annoyance at the cold disappeared, melting away into worry for Ben.

After picking up his weapon, Rey went to leave when a large bag by the entrance caught her eye; she quickly went towards it and zipped it open to find inside a set of clothes and a journal. Deeper in the bag held items such as falsified papers, food, and other items that someone would need to survive anywhere. Ruffling around it only confirmed to her that it belonged to Ben as he wouldn’t have left without it – any logical person with an ounce of self-preservation skill wouldn’t have. 

“What the hell did he get himself into?” she muttered, hefting it over her shoulder with a huff. She set out again, praying that she would find him before the storm hit the area. And thankfully, it didn’t take her long to find another clue of some sort; a few feet away, there was a drop of blood after blood that trailed deeper into the forest. 

She tracked the steps and soon found herself at the front of the entrance to a cave, and even the sounds of the raging wind couldn’t hide the fight she was hearing from within. She dropped the bag at the entrance and grabbed her staff, her lightsaber unsheathed but ready at any moment’s notice. Quietly sneaking in, she began preparing herself for a fight, only to be disappointed at what she saw instead. 

“Ben?” Rey called out, lowering her weapons and slowly straightening herself up, blaming the adrenaline for her pounding heart.

Ben whirled around at her voice, breathing heavily as his eyes widened, face shifting from one emotion to another before it settled on something akin to surprise. “Rey?”

She dropped her bo and rushed towards him, giving the groaning bodies that laid around him a quick glance. “You’re okay,” she breathed out, an immense rush of relief soothing her nerves as she placed her hands on his arms. He had blood trickling down his nose, but other than that he visibly looked fine.

“I – how did you find me?”

Rey forced herself to take in her surroundings before answering his question. All around her laid machines and mechanical equipment, alongside sleeping bags and a burning fire in the middle of the cave. Clearly, this was where the men that kidnapped Ben made a camp out of, as bags of food leaned against the walls in the back as well. 

“I went looking for you and found an abandoned shack with your stuff.” Finally taking a step back, she turned to the bodies on the ground. “I managed to track you here.”

“I see.” With a deep exhale, Ben shook his head at whatever was going through his mind before grabbing some rope from a trunk near him. He silently began tying the unconscious men up as an awkward silence permeated the air before walking out, motioning for her to follow. She took one last look at the men before doing so, taking care to remember their faces in case they found them again.

“Who were they?” Ben remained silent, grabbing the bag Rey had dropped earlier in her haste to reach the fight. He rummaged around in it for a moment before turning around to her, a question on the tip of his tongue when she pulled the lightsaber from her back pocket, already knowing what he wanted. “Are you looking for this?”

He stared at the weapon before nodding, gently taking it from her and putting it away. “I know I can’t use it that often, but it’s comforting to know that I have a weapon of some sort.”

She extended a hand and he took it gladly, and she kept her gloved hand in his as she asked, “What happened?” She held firmly, signaling to him that she wasn’t going to let go without an answer, which he gave with some reluctance.

“...They’re members of the First Order Security Bureau – FOSB. A few of them were stationed here in Fort Ypso when the Order fell.” He grimaced as he shifted the bag, his injured shoulder aching from the move. “I was trying to flush them out to see if they knew anything but the group back there were only scouts. They knew nothing.”

“You’re saying that there’s more of them here?” Rey finally let go and looked towards where Fort Ypso was in the distance, throwing on her hood, the cold burning her ears.

“As of now, no. That group was all I know of here.” He furrowed his brows as he pulled his own hood up, his voice revealing his disappointment. “The numbers of the members matched up, but the intel about what they were planning doesn’t. They definitely needed more people than those five.”

“Well, the ship is nearby, we can rest there for the day and go down to Fort Ypso in the morning?” Rey suggested, sensing how tired he was by the way he looked. Hair was limp and greasy and he had darker eye bags than before, his skin was washed out even more than usual.

At her suggestion, he shook his head. “I’ve already checked it out. If there’s any First Order, they’ll have gone into hiding by now. There’s nothing here for me to do now.”

As he looked off into the distance, Rey hid her emotions from Ben to the best of her abilities without being suspicious. This was not the happy reunion she had imagined, and a part of her felt somewhat foolish at what she had expected. With Ben injured and closed off from her, refusing to meet her eyes, she felt the happiness at finding him quickly being replaced by a sense of disappointment – from their current predicament to the news he just gave, and the lack of ease that their relationship typically had. It was fraught with tension and she wasn’t sure how to fix it.

Yet, instead of voicing her frustration, she began walking away towards where the Millenium Falcon was, a _little_ more aggression in her steps than what was needed. Ben followed a few steps behind her, quietly, and she kept her arms around herself as the cold was sharp and unrelenting despite the thick parka she wore.

About an hour of silence later, she stood at the entrance to the Falcon and watched the ramp extending into the snow, but she refrained from taking a step forward. Instead, she turned around and watched as Ben trekked through the snow far behind her, foot after foot in the deep, but like she had done he too stopped short a few feet away from her. 

She could sense the conflict from within their bond and it was no surprise that the ship was the cause of it. Through the memories he had shared with her, she knew that the last time he had been on his father’s ship was when he was a kid, being sent off to the Jedi Temple and abandoned by all he had known for something he did not want.

So Rey, sensing his unease, reached out physically, taking the first step forward towards him. The hike back to the Falcon had been quiet between them, and in the beginning, Rey had been boiling in her anger and annoyance, but within a few minutes this soon simmered down into acceptance. She understood that none of his silence had been directed towards her. To Ben, it was the fact that he had allowed himself to get kidnapped and his lack of success in his personal mission that led to the frustration he felt, which then led him to be withdrawn and stuck in his own head, beating himself up for the errors that were made today. Paired alongside the fact that to leave this planet, he would have to step foot onto this ship full of memories, both good and bad, it was to no surprise that he was as conflicted as he was. 

So instead of saying anything, she placed a gloved hand against his arm. Rey was able to tether him back to the present, back to her. “I know this ship is complicated for you, but...it’ll okay.” _I’m here_ , were the unspoken words that reverberated through their bond. _We can do this together._

His eyes remained on the Falcon for a few more seconds before turning to her, a darkness in his eyes storming amongst the warm chocolate she was so used to. But he took a deep breath and nodded his head. They both recognized that whatever this was, it was never going to be an easy path for either of them. It would be a tumultuous journey that neither were truly prepared for and while setbacks were to be expected, the small steps forward were what truly mattered. 

Rey felt herself return the small smile he had on his face as she led him back to the ship, back towards her.

It was a good start.

The duo closed the ramp and she helped him settle himself into the large starship, the fight with the men earlier not as important anymore once Rey called the Resistance in to collect the men. Whatever anger that had muddled their bond earlier was now nonexistent; they were silent in their movements but there was an ease to them, a rhythm that typically took most years to develop between each other. For them, it was instinctual. 

Months would pass and during this period, the two took their time to learn about each other and themselves. For so long, both had been held back by the unfortunate circumstances that had controlled their lives; Rey with her imprisonment in Jakku and Ben with the First Order. 

On some days, they would find themselves be hiding out on a planet, hunting down the remainders of the First Order generals who had managed to escape the chaos that had been Exegol; on others, they would huddle in the ship, studying the books that Rey had taken from Luke as they exchanged stories of their childhood, the good and the bad. Sometimes tears would fall and fears would be admitted as they both came to terms with their past and their future. 

On darker days, Rey would find herself unable to leave her bed, her mind overwhelmed with the knowledge that her ancestry was one of destruction, of mass genocide and oppression. On days like these, Ben would always be at her side, the only one in the galaxy who truly understood the mess she was. His history was complicated, but he was trying, and that was all that mattered.

Days such as that found them together, drowning in their love and emotions as they tried healing from the pain that threatened to overwhelm them both.

Today, though, the comfortable schedule that they had settled into would change. When Rey awoke and prepared a meal, she saw Ben looking straight through her, eyes glazed over. With an energy bar in her mouth, she tilted her head and asked, “Are you okay?” He remained mute but nodded his head. She frowned but let it slide, for now. 

Once breakfast was eaten, dishes cleaned, they both officially started their day by going towards the cockpit. “So where to today?” Rey asked, chucking off a large blanket onto the pilot’s seat before sitting on it. BB-8 rolled next to her when Ben answered.

“Canto Bight.”

Taken aback, Rey couldn’t help but whirl around, staring at him; he was standing by the entrance of the cockpit, his brows furrowed in deep thought. “...What?” Was this the reason why he had been acting so weird?

“I had...a dream, you could say,” Ben muttered, moving towards the seat. He stood beside her and next to BB-8 but refused to sit down. Instead, his eyes roamed the controls and levers, glazed over once more, lost in a distant memory. But he was easy to read as of right now, his barriers down around her as he laid vulnerable – a development that had grown during their time together. “Something about this person is important.” She asked if he had seen whoever this person was but the look on his face was an answer enough. “No. That was the thing that eluded me, no matter how long I tried to meditate, to see. There was a fog that prevented me from seeing them...but all I know is that our next step is there.” He quickly turned red before looking away, quietly adding, “But that’s only if you want to, of course. I would never, um, assume.” _If you still want me with you_ , was the underlying tone of his question, a constant battle the two faced almost on a daily basis. 

“Ben.” Despite sitting, Rey placed her hands on her hips and softened her voice, but firm in her stance. “I’m with you, always. Here, there, anywhere in the galaxy, I will always be there for you. Six months ago I was here, and years from now I will still be here too.” This was the reassurance that he seemed to need as he finally sat down beside her; she quickly grabbed his hand with a wide grin, saying, “Canto Bight won’t know what hit them.”

0O0

The moment she successfully landed the Falcon in the Casino City, Rey felt a surge of energy from the Force like never before. It was so different from the other experiences she had and it was clear to her that she had sensed what Ben saw in his vision. There had to be someone here that was just like them, a force user. She was so sure of it that when she said this to Ben, the look he gave her only confirmed it.

“But this place...it’s massive,” Rey muttered, looking around at the tall buildings as she walked alongside Ben. They both wore clothes and masks akin to those worn by the aristocrats that frequented the casino, allowing them easy access throughout the city without being noticed – her in a long flowing dress that she hated with a burning passion and Ben in a typical black suit that was similar to the ones that she saw others wearing. She had grumbled the entire time as she changed, with Ben chuckling at her. In frustration, she threw her shoe at his head, only for BB-8 to rudely mention that she had done the same to him months ago on Vandor. She retaliated by throwing the identical pair at the droid.

“Canto Bight disgusting. I’m sure you’ve heard of what occurs down here,” Ben muttered darkly, sneering in response to the high pitched giggles from the group in front of them as he continued, “The corruption here runs so deep that if you have the money for it, there is _nothing_ you can’t acquire here, ranging from exotic animals to illegal merchandising, assassinations to slavery. I’m sure you also know what else you can get here without me having to say it out loud.” At this, Rey found herself getting nauseous at the insinuation, knowing exactly what he meant; she had been lucky enough when she was younger in Jakku to have had some looking out and choosing to help her, because she remembered what happened to those if they didn’t meet the quota for the month, regardless of age. 

They were never seen again.

“I’ve heard only what Finn and Rose experienced here last year but I didn’t know it was that bad.” 

The conversation would have continued had it not been for a sudden pull from the force, stopping the two in their tracks. It interrupted whatever train of thought that they had and with one look at each other, they silently began following the narrow path to their right, the mission of their search the most important part of the night.

Gradually, the clean marbling and stone hat had surrounded them turned into a path of sand and dirt until the typical disgusting smell of a stable wafted over them. Rey was in the lead and the growing sounds of children’s voices and laughter fueled her steps until she reached a stable door. Both were not sure what to expect; while they had prepared themselves for an adult, it hadn’t occurred to them that the suspected Force user could be a child. Yet, there was no denying the voices inside. 

“Bye Temiri!” Various voices called out as Rey and Ben remained hidden. They heard the chaotic banging of doors and footsteps until only one voice was left, and it was undeniably a young boy, singing to himself.

Quietly, Rey opened the door, careful to keep it from making a noise. She hid behind the stall before her, Ben following suit, and watched from the corner as the boy hummed while looking up at the night sky.

Ben shifted, preparing himself to stand, but Rey quickly grabbed his forearm and shook her head, a finger on her lips. _Wait_ , she mouthed. She sensed that the boy was strong with the Force, but to what extent? Was it enough to reveal themselves to the child? And if so, what were they going to say?

They had come _too_ unprepared for this situation.

But soon after these thoughts, the Force gave her a clear cut answer: Temiri, the young stablehand, stretched his hand and in front of them, the broom on the ground flew through the air before slowing down towards the boy.

Rey’s heart was racing and judging by how pale Ben was, he was just as nervous, perhaps even more so. In fact, he was radiating an energy she couldn’t get a feel for.

“Ben, what’s wrong?” Rey hissed, careful to keep quiet. 

“I–” Ben shook his head but his voice was hushed, yet shaky. “I just...you were the last person that I felt with this kind of power. All the others that were like us, the Order did horrible things to – _I_ did horrible things to. I’m just reminded of–”

There was a sudden snap and they froze. Rey, in her nervousness, had stepped onto an inconveniently placed twig, and the sound of it breaking echoed throughout the stable.

“Who’s there?” the boy, Temiri, suddenly called out.

Rey silently cursed before standing up, both hands up in a way to show herself unarmed. Ben, on the other hand, stood in his typical way, towering over her with his height.

Temiri looked at them first with surprise before it melted into a wildish fear – a crazed look in his eyes that Rey could only sympathize with. It was a look she had seen far too often in herself growing up as a scavenger, and so when she saw him tighten his hold on the brook, she rushed out, “Don’t worry! We’re just here to speak with you.”

“Why? I didn’t do anything wrong – I’m cleaning, just like the Boss said to!”

“No no, we’re not with your boss.” She tried smiling but when she saw that Temiri continued to look fearfully at Ben, she turned her head and quickly said, “Ben, stop brooding, you’re scaring him.” Her companion looked confused for a second but before he could say anything, Temiri spoke.

“What do you want? If you’re looking for a place to do... _your_ thing, you know, what you adults like to do, you can’t do it here. I’ll get in trouble.”

“Our thing…?” Her mind went blank for a few moments before realization dawned on Rey. She began sputtering, her face turning a deep red with embarrassment. “Oh no, _no no no_ , y-you’ve got it all wrong! We–I– _Ben!_ ”

“Uh– Okay, we, uh, we’re just like you.” Ben, too, was red, but unlike her, he had managed to string a reasonable sentence together. “That’s why we wanted to speak with you.”

“Y-Yeah,” Rey finally managed to add, her heart still racing from what the child insinuated. “Your name’s Temiri, right?” The silence that followed the question was an answer enough and so Rey tried asking another question, although she felt like she already knew the answer. “Where are your parents? I can’t imagine they’d allow you to work here in these conditions.”

“...They owed the racetrack money. I was the payment.”

“Oh. I’m sorry–”

“What do you mean, you’re like me?”

“We’re Force users, like you,” she began to explain. She stepped forward, bringing her closer to the child, and while he made no moves to leave, his body was still tight with tension. Sensing that she was pushing his limit, she stopped at a comfortable distance with Ben quietly trailing behind her, silent.

“...I dunno what you’re talking about.”

Tilting her head, she gently smiled before focusing on the bucket near the boy. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he denied stubbornly. Rey then, using the force, lifted the bucket unknowingly behind the child before slowly bringing it around, allowing it to hover between them. Temiri’s eyes widened as he let the broom in his hand go in shock, his eyes flying between the two adults. “...Oh. _Oh_.”

She placed the bucket to the ground and took another step, and another, until she was right in front of the child. Kneeling, she asked, “Do you know what the Force is?”

“I’ve...I’ve heard of it,” he quietly muttered, his eyes shifting to Ben before turning back to her. “So he’s like us too?”

“Yes, he is.” Smirking, she hid her mouth behind her hand and whispered loud enough for Ben to hear, “But Mister Broody here is a bit shy.”

“ _I_ _heard that._ ”

Rey giggled and was glad to hear Temiri do the same as it broke the tension in the air. The sense of unease that had been plaguing them slowly disappeared as the boy became comfortable enough to reach out to the man.

“Can you do what I do, then?”

“I–”

The main door to the stable swung open, slamming into the wall and interrupting the trio. A Cloddogranian stormed in, shouting, “The fuck? Who the hell are you two? Get the fuck out of my stable!” Then, pointing to Temiri, he growled, “Why’d you even let them in? I told you what’d happen if I caught strangers in my stable, _didn’t I_?”

Without hesitation, Rey shot up, placing herself between Temiri and the fat creature with a scowl marring her face. “We–”

But Ben, oh sweet _sweet_ Ben, he waved a hand through the air. “You’re not upset,” he commanded, his voice low but humming with the power of the Force. Bargwill Tomder, the name printed on the nametag of the Cloddogranian, flipped like a switch; his entire demeanor changed as a glaze fell over his eyes. He began to repeat what Ben ordered, his voice high and face dropping into a dreamlike state.

“ _I’m not upset_.”

“You will leave this room and forget we were ever here.”

“ _I will leave this room and forget you were ever here._ ”

“Leave.”

“ _I will leave_.”

In a matter of seconds, the creature left, but the shaky breathing from behind her worried Rey. “Temiri?” she called out, reaching out for him.

Whatever trust that they had gained with the boy disappeared as he flinched away from her hand, his eyes wide with fear. They were shiny and his face was pale, and it was obvious with the tightness in his voice that he was holding back tears. “He’s still going to remember after you leave though, won’t he? I’ll still get in trouble!”

A gentle hand on Rey’s shoulder stopped her from talking and she watched as Ben took over, kneeling down on one leg to the small child, his arm resting on his knee for balance. “I take it you don’t like it here, do you?”

“ _O_ _f course_ I don’t.”

Rey knew with those words immediately what would follow, and the sudden panic that surged from within her crashed with Ben’s calm determination as his thoughts went through their bond.

 _Don’t worry_ , he said, but Rey quickly countered with another surge of panic. They were in no way capable of taking care of a child! She was barely able to take care of herself!

But she also saw Temiri through Ben’s eyes. He was dirty, skinny with malnutrition, and the clothes he wore were threadbare. Rey’s heart continued to fall as she realized that she saw a reflection of herself all those years ago with those hungry eyes, looking for any opportunity to feel safe, to not have to worry about where her next meal would come.

“Would you like to come with us?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and kudos behind for a starving author as I'd love to know what you guys are thinking. Stay safe guys!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter is late and not very long, but with the holidays, birthdays, and the end of the semester for my uni coming up, I didn't have too much time to write and post this weekend. You can also kind of tell too, so please forgive me for any errors and whatnot that I tried to catch but didn’t. Other than that, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. I’m going to apologize in advance because the next one might not be up this weekend due to finals starting next week, and I need to focus on that, but my schedule for this story will revert back to normal afterwards. I promise!

At Ben’s question, Temiri was taken aback; he was shocked and felt as if he were dreaming because there was no way, he thought, that they wanted to take him in.

There was definitely a catch.

“What’s the catch?” he demanded, a childish determination that Rey found herself smiling at.

“There’s no catch,” Ben answered. “We’re just asking if you’d like to come with us.”

Temiri’s lips thinned as his eyes flew from Ben’s face to Rey’s, his arms wrapped around himself. “People who ask that take us and we never see ‘em again.”

“But could they do what we can?” Rey countered. “I promise, Temiri, we’re not those people.” She kneeled down next to Ben, leaning on him for support as they held hands. “I know how it’s like out here, being alone for as long as you can remember. I grew up on Jakku, raised to be a scavenger – it was all I had known. Told to trust no one but yourself, wondering where your next meal was going to come from. But I refused to listen to that and became friends with people who showed me more of the galaxy – of _life._ I understand your fear but don’t be afraid, I promise we won’t hurt you.”

“I…” Temiri seemed unsure, looking back up to them, and he stayed quiet for a minute before he suddenly nodded. “...Okay.”

“I– wait, really?” Rey was taken aback. She had been preparing herself to argue for a chance, to somehow prove that they were here to help, and had not been expecting such a quick yes.

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Are you–”

“Rey, stop before you change the poor kid’s mind,” Ben said amusingly, placing squeezing her hand. He suddenly stood up, Rey following suit, and looked to Temiri. The boy seemed uncomfortable but somewhat hopeful, a brightness in his eyes that Rey swore was nonexistent five minutes ago.

“But before we go, can we do something?”

“Of course.”

“Can you help my friends? Most of us were taken and while a lot of my friends don’t remember their families, I know that they deserve more than...this,” he said, motioning to the entire stable. “ _Please._ ”

“Of course I’ll help your friends, Temiri.”

Upholding her promise, Ben stayed back while Rey returned to the ship, calling for her friends, not wanting Temiri to think he was being tricked into a strange vehicle. Not to mention, he wanted to say his goodbyes to the other children and get his belongings. Once she connected with Finn, she explained her situation and of the kids, and it was no surprise that he was more than willing to help. Children being taken from families was a sore topic for Finn, and rightfully so; if it had been up to him he would help _all_ the children in the galaxy if he could, to ensure that what happened to him and other stormtroopers would never happen again. _That_ dream may have been unrealistic, but helping these kids here find homes and have a safe life, this was something that he _could_ do. So he promised to send aid and a delegation to Canto Bight as soon as possible, his own experiences at the city also fueling this quick decision.

Thankful, Rey said her goodbyes and began her walk back to the stables, absentminded but excitement keeping her jittery when she suddenly tripped on the trail of her dress. She reached out, preparing to catch herself, only to be thrust into a vision.

She fell onto bedrock, body soaked with water as the sounds of a familiar crashing of waves surrounded her. Looking up, she saw the remnants of a burnt tree, as in the distance she saw two figures in blue, both staring at her, their faces blurred but _so familiar._

“Y _ou are not who you think you are, Rey of Jakku.”_ She whipped her head to the side, eyes widening at the figure who stood beside her. Whoever they were, she was not allowed to know, as the Force hid the identity of the stranger behind a wall of fog. “ _What you have come to believe will betray you in due time, as the truth hides behind the lies.”_ The voice was familiar, triggering memories Rey once thought long lost; a forgotten childhood with a man picking her up and playfully throwing her into the air, a woman’s laughter echoing in her ears; a lightsaber in her hands for the first time, Maz Kanata standing behind her in that Cantina from a lifetime ago, her first vision forcing her to come to terms with her new reality. “ _You are claimed by another, my hidden child.”_

The hand of the stranger reached for her as she lifted her own, but she was suddenly falling again.

She landed on sand. Throwing her head up, there were two suns setting, the sunset tinging the sky into a mirage of orange, red, and yellow. The heat was reminiscent of Jakku as the desert winds blew all around her. In her hands was a single lightsaber, unfamiliar, and she watched as she turned it on, spinning some sort of dial in the middle. Two soft yellow beams shot out, one from the top and another from the bottom, and at the sudden voices that called out to her from behind, she suddenly felt so warm, so full of love, of _life_. She turned around to see– 

“ _Rey!_ ”

Hands were on Rey’s shoulders, shaking her. Successfully coming out of the vision, she allowed herself to be pulled up from the ground. No longer was the sky the colors of a sunset and instead of the warmth of the setting suns, the coldness of stars and the moon shined down on her instead. Her eyes, finally readjusting, noticed a familiar pair looking at her worryingly, brows creased with worry.

“Rey, what’s wrong?” Ben asked, also looking around to see if there had been some attacker. “What happened?”

Once she got her bearings, Rey groaned and looked to her burning hands, cursing. They were scratched up, small beads of blood bleeding through the thin layer of dirt. It was nothing serious, just a pain to deal with. “I just tripped, that’s all,” she reassured, despite sensing an oncoming headache. “I had a vision of some sort. I don’t know, I have to think about it for a while to make sense of it.”

“Are you sure?” Ben asked, helping her stay up as she swayed on her feet, her sudden headache aggressively thumping in her skull. 

“Yeah.” Smiling, she gave the good news. “Onto good things! Finn said he would send a group for your friends, Temiri.” She then turned to him, who was watching the buildings all around them in awe. He wasn’t quite listening to what she was saying but he smiled at what she said. Her happiness was short-lived, as she frowned, suddenly realizing something. “We...we were so adamant about asking if you wanted to come with us that I forgot to ask about your parents,” she said. Although she had an inkling as to why they weren’t around, particularly after he mentioned them earlier, she still felt that it was something that needed to be asked.

“They…” Temiri slowly turned to her as his face fell, clutching the bag he held in his hands a little tighter. “They died five years ago. I was four.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” 

Inhaling deeply, he shook his head. “It’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay but she knew that this conversation would end here. There was no point in going further into painful histories, especially when it was relating to a death. It was clear that he was not ready and to force a person to talk about trauma, particularly to someone they did not know, would have been traumatizing to an adult, let alone a child.

So, in lieu of the sad conversation, Rey linked her arm with Ben’s with a wide smile. He made a grunt of surprise, something he was doing quite frequently as of late, but allowed himself to be led back to the ship, a short trip away from where they were standing. “Time for an adventure, wouldn’t you say?”

0O0

In the beginning, living with a child was a difficult transition from a childless life. 

For Rey, it was the fact that she didn’t _really_ know what she was doing. She had asked her friends for advice but whatever answer they gave, it was something she already tried or knew. She was, for a lack of a better word, _way_ over her head. And another problem presented itself as time went on. A problem which was quite trivial, _she knew_ , but it was still one nonetheless. The issue?

The bed. 

It wasn’t as if there wasn’t enough room for Temiri; there _definitely_ was. It was more the fact that they had to rearrange the rooms; Rey had given Temiri hers, the largest on the ship, which she had no problems with. The child deserved it. The problem that surfaced was that she found herself during late _late_ nights either in the cockpit or engine room, she would drag her feet to her old room by instinct, forgetting in her half-asleep mind that it was no longer hers simply out of habit. Then she would find herself practically _crawling_ all the way to the other side of the ship to her new room. 

But the solution to this problem was a quick and simple fix.

See, Ben’s room was much closer to Temiri’s – it was right next to it, in fact – than her new one, and one night, Rey happened to have said, _screw it_. After standing in front of Temiri’s door, she turned, only a foot away from her old room, and knocked on Ben’s door, her mind too tired to care about the repercussions of this decision she was making. 

“Rey?”

“I’m _exhausted_ and quite frankly, too lazy to walk all the way back to my room. Yours is much closer to the cockpit.” Kind of pushing herself past him, she said, “I’m sleeping in here with you tonight.”

And, well, that was that. His room became _their_ room, and sure, it was awkward in the beginning once Rey woke up, finding herself staring at Ben’s back, but after living with someone who just so happened to be her literal _soulmate_ for the past year, it wasn’t a difficult adjustment. It hadn’t been the first time they shared a bed, after all.

For Ben, however, living with Temiri was a much different story than Rey’s. Although it had been his idea to bring Temiri in, at the end of the day, he was still terrified of himself, of the darkness that was too ingrained in his soul and mind. On a daily basis, he found himself anxiously tip-toeing around the child, unsure of what he could say or do, scared that he would somehow hurt him with his words or actions. 

Luckily, once Rey began to sleep with him in his room, he voiced some of his concerns during their late-night conversations. With her help, in the following months, he became more confident in himself, no longer fully controlled by his fears. He learned to live with them instead, to grow out of the darkness that he had kept himself trapped in.

And life for Temiri? Well, living on a spaceship when he had only known the stables was a life adjustment alone, and to add to the new setting, he was now living with adults he did not truly trust. Yes, he knew in the time that he lived with them that they cared and would not hurt him like those who came before, but he was naturally suspicious; a result of the life he was forced to live on Canto Bight. He assumed that every mistake he made would mean being kicked out, thrown away like he was nothing, which was the reason behind his decision to keep an emergency bag of rations in his room that Rey had not meant to find. 

One day, she had gone into his room to look for him, only to be saddened but just how empty it was. The bed was neatly made, there were no clothes strewn about anywhere, and the books that they had gotten for him were neatly set on the small desk, pencils and pens placed carefully in a holder. A clean room, yes, but no life, no way to tell that it belonged to a nine-year-old boy. Curiosity got the best of her and she slid open the thin closet in the corner of the room; a bag fell out, and while she felt bad for snooping around, she opened it and inside, she found clothes, food, money – all of the essentials someone would have needed in an emergency.

It was an escape bag, ready at moment’s notice. Rey quickly recognized this and felt her heart fall, but carefully placed it back inside while her mind began running with several thoughts. After speaking about this to Ben, she decided to carefully pull Temiri aside a few days later.

“Temiri–”

With wide eyes, Temiri tripped over his words as he rushed out, “I’m sorry, whatever I did I’ll fix it–”

Taken aback, she furiously shook her head. “What?” She rubbed her arm as she said, “No no, you didn’t do anything wrong. I just...I wanted to ask you something.”

“I...oh, okay.” He began to pick at the hem of his shirt, a nervous tick she recognized. “Yeah?”

“I want you to know that I’m so glad you’re here with us, okay? And that if you need _anything_ , you can ask us.” She wasn’t one for physical displays of affection but she still pulled him into a hug – of course, with his permission – and continued, “I don’t think you understand just how happy it makes me, knowing that you’re here.” She tightened the hug, hoping that it expressed what she wasn’t quite able to say to him aloud. Every emotion she felt, from thinking about how she was a kid, alone on a vast planet with no one, to hoping to help a child in a similar need out of that situation made her squeeze him even more.

“...Me too, Rey,” he said in her ear. The swell of emotion in Rey’s chest caused a tear to escape her eye, and as she pulled away, she found herself tearing up even more. She was wiping furiously at them though, laughing at the same time.

“I want this place to feel like a home for you.”

“...It does, I promise.” Then with a smile, he said, “I even love BB-8. He’s _amazing!_ ”

After her conversation with him, she saw Ben facing his own fears a few days later, talking to Temiri with BB-8 nearby. He was anxious, their bond loud with so many different types of emotion from them both, and she hoped that he knew how proud she was that he was ready to speak to Temiri, to bare his own heart out to the child they were now taking care of.

Rey knew it went well when Temiri hugged Ben of his own accord. She was spying on them – so she was a little nosy, could you blame her – and she saw Ben falter for a few seconds. His face softened, though, as he returned the hug in his own clumsy way. She later found out from Temiri that Ben had told him about being Kylo Ren, a name that struck fear in most of the galaxy. Yet, Temiri had reassured her that he saw Ben as Ben Solo, the man who saved him, and not as Kylo Ren. Despite being a child, he _understood_ , and Rey couldn’t help but think that the Force was aiding them after all.

With time, new routines developed, and although none of them admitted it nor realized it, they were slowly becoming a family of sorts, and Rey could not be any happier.

Yet, there was something… _more_ , a pull in a direction that she knew was the Force’s way of guiding her towards the next steps of her journey. She hadn’t stopped thinking about that vision she had on Canto Bight, trying every day to see if she could remember something _more,_ details that could somehow tell her who that familiar stranger was, calling to her. The location of the first vision was Ahch-To, and the significance of this was not lost on her. So one day, Rey sat Ben and Temiri down.

“I think we need to go to Ahch-To,” she said, hands fiddling with her shirt.

She knew that Temiri could have cared less, as all it was was a name of a new place, just like many of the other planets and systems they had visited. He did not pick up on the tension that had suddenly appeared due to her announcement, so he simply shrugged his shoulders and walked away to his room, leaving Rey alone with Ben, who remained sitting by the table. He remained silent, arms crossed over his chest, but his shoulders were tight with tension, only a slow nod to tell her that he had heard her.

“ _Why there?_ ” she heard the bond echo to her seconds later, along with a nearly overwhelming feeling of shame and sadness, headed by a wave of anger that was fueled by memories of a life long-lived, forever bitter with the pain of betrayal.

At the question, Rey placed her hands against Ben’s cheeks, thumbs gently grazing his cheekbones. She gave him all the time he needed, and when he finally looked up at her, meeting her eyes with his own, she saw the conflict within him. But she whispered back what they both knew, deep down, her voice heavy with guilt, “ _Because we must._ ” Because the island that had been her home for a short time was the place that truly started her Jedi story, and perhaps it would reveal answers of her past and of the hidden meanings of her vision.

Ahch-To would be the beginning of the end, where the past would crash against the unknown future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment and kudos behind for a starving author as I'd love to know what you guys are thinking. Stay safe guys!


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